Tribes

TRIBES

“Plenty of people will think you’re crazy, no matter what you do. Don’t let that stop you from finding the people who think you’re incredible – the ones who need to hear your voice, because it reminds them of their own. Your tribe. They’re out there. Don’t let your critics interfere with your search for them.”
Vironika Tugaleva

I remember the day that I heard the sound. It was a sound that normally I would be irritated by, or make a judgement about, or want to escape because it was too loud. But on this day, when I heard it, I stopped and just let it wash over me, and a sweet smile appeared on my face. The sound? It was the laughter, talking, and connecting of the women on my swim team in the large shower we all shared after our workout. There are 6 shower heads and everyone gets in there and shares shampoo, stories, and lots of laughter. This was after we had been given the OK that we could all be together normally after our two years of Covid separation. In that moment, hearing that sound, I remember having this overwhelming feeling of “Wow – This is my tribe!” Even though I might not have anything in common with some of these women – other than swimming – in this group I am seen and heard and I am a part of something.

I always loved that song from the TV show “Cheers” that said “Where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.” That’s what a tribe feels like – a place where you can be seen and heard and feel like you matter. Even today at swimming my coach noticed I had been gone for a week, and said it was good to have me back and that I was missed. It touched my heart. When I go to my post office, having the people behind the counter know my name and ask how I am doing also touches my heart. I actually have kept that same P.O. Box even though I moved farther away and it’s an extra effort to go there – but they all know my name and it’s another form of a tribe.

As 2022 ends and 2023 begins, I am so grateful for the people in my immediate tribe, and also for the different groups that form my other tribes. I truly realize how important these connections are. As Brene Brown has said “We are all hard-wired for connection.” We all need to feel connected and that we matter.  She goes on to say; “True belonging never asks us to change who we are. True belonging requires us to be who we are.” And that’s another point – to know who is truly in your tribe. For me, it’s people who I know will accept all of who I am without any judgement, or without me feeling like I have to change who I am to fit in. I have had to look at that for myself and move on from people who I felt were not supportive. 

So as this new year starts, I wish you the time to just “be” and hear the calling of your heart in the people you spend time with, the projects you say yes to, to the way you spend each day. May your year be filled with lovingkindness, grace, ease, and amazing miracles.